So, did you miss me?
I know, I went missing there for a bit. But it is not without good reason; promise. You see I just wrapped up a move back “home.” Not any move but an 8,000+ mile move to home. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about this word home and how its meaning has changed. It’s more of a relative term now than anything else. It has me in a constant state of wonder as to whether or not anyone else ever feels this way.
This morning I sat outside on our deck, wrapped up in a blanket and watched the fog move through the air for over two hours. Utterly enchanted by it, incapable of moving or looking away. It was the first time I had seen fog like this in well over two years. I had a moment of pure gratitude at all I had been able to see and do in the last few years, the cultures, the food, the friends, the lifestyle. So what do you do when you have to switch gears entirely? How do you keep your motivation up and your head above water?
For starters, don’t try to make sense out of any of it. Keep the same attitude you hold onto when you hit the “book” button to a vacation destination that you are going to on a wing and a prayer, excited skepticism. Writing a new chapter for yourself, or perhaps beginning a new book entirely, take time so have patience with an open mind.
Secondly, remember to breathe. Yes, I know you know how to breathe, but I mean truly breathe. Breathe it all in and out. A few weeks ago, as I began to work on the first chapter in my new book of life I remember thinking “I don’t want to do this.” When I hit the RSVP button for a meet and greet event, the same feeling came over me like a wave. Every new scenario where I now know absolutely no one, the same overwhelming feeling. But I took a breath and pushed forward.
What have I learned so far?
I am not the person I was when I left America two years ago, and for that I am grateful. No, I wasn’t a horrible person, but I now realize the room I had, still have, for growth is limitless. I have living abroad to thank for that. I’m beginning to understand that this is life. Life was meant to be lived. Not sitting stagnantly in one place waiting for something to happen for you but out living it, as uncomfortable as it may be. So continue to hold onto your nostalgia for what once was but be excited for what will be. I know I am, and I’m excited to have you along for the ride.